Friday, July 31, 2009

maybe this is what God wants to put me thru.
Where little will really understand totally how i feel.
Where the hurt just seem paramount.
When i cannot do anything to make any of us feel better.
When the future just threatens to crumble down on me.
When fear and insecurity chokes me so.

I felt like breakin down, i couldn't breathe.
I'm not seeking sympathy, i only wish to find strength to face all this and all that has to come.
Thou everyone seem to be there, why do i feel so alone..?





Please let me not fall into e temptation of dwelling in selfpity.
Give me strength.



Tuesday, July 28, 2009

quote from my friend's blog;

We'll not hold tight, but we won't let loose completely too. If either of us really manages to find someone better, then that person can go ahead and be with that someone.

To love is not to possess, but to bring happiness to the person as much as possible.

By saying this, we know we may part, but at the very least, our mutual understanding allows us to part as good friends.

Our goal is not to sustain, but to aid each other in fighting for the very happiness we've been seeking.

Some say that we might not end up with the person we love most, and now I see some truth in it.

Dear, you don't know how touched I was when you said what you said. The fact that somehow you began to concur with my view was pleasantly surprising. I never believed that I am mature in thought, especially in terms of relationships, but I guess I grew from the past and with you.

I'm sorry if I grossed some of you guys out, but I just needed to tell the world that this is the guy I'm happily stuck with.

And of course... to answer all queries about us when I leave once and for all.






i admire their maturity in their committment for each other.
she is flying off, just for info.



Monday, July 27, 2009

This day i walked and had a long talk with God.
What lies ahead seem so daunting. But He just showed me no other way.
I'm just thankful He prepared me for what was coming.

I'll be strong. i'll love the way love should be.
I will not be blinded anymore.

I'll be strong on my own, i'll live for God, and He will guide me to safety.

in His hands i'll trust.



Wednesday, July 22, 2009

talked to a friend about it.
felt so much better.
maybe because we share the same prob.

but i'm thankful for it.

after watching harry potter's scene about how dumbledore suffered while drinking the key to hocrux, i got reminded about how God wanted to me to hang on after something that happened.
It tested me with great magnitude.. and i'll learn to face this trial and grow out of it, along with God's help.

pray for me...




on a lighter note..

i saved 5 kittens from the drain today.
initially i didnt really make much about their wailing, but i was so glad when i saved 5 of those poor abandoned souls from the drain of rushing water.
having gone thru weathers like that out in the jungle during my training in ocs, i had no difficulty understanding what kind of torment this little kitties were going thru.

after carrying them out of the drain, i cuddled them together and they were shivering so badly! i felt so sorry for them..

but they were really cute as they were of different colours and they were sneezing with such a cute sound. haha!

lets pray this kitties will have a better life ahead. =)



Saturday, July 11, 2009

this entry is gonna be about a perpestive i got from this book called angels and demon and i tot i would just like to share this with whoever is reading this entry.

science has created loads of miracles, it has provided us with entertainment and conveinence.
but science has also robbed us of wonders.

sunsets has been reduced into a massive cogulation of wavelengths and frequencies.
the complexicity of the universes has been shredded into mathematical equations.
even the very reason that we are here has been destroyed by science, saying that we are just a cosmic accident of the universe, thats why we are alive.
the technology that promises to bind us, in turn divided us, haven we felt more alone?
with our advancement, technology has breed violence, divison, fracture and betrayal.

skeptism has became a virtue. isnt it sad it?
our cynical mindsets and demand for proof has left us more depressed and defeated then we tot.

quote from the book, " does science hold anything sacred? science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. science even presume to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters GOd's world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning... and all it finds is more questions"

ppl think tt science is the new religion but i tot it had not provided us with any answers, it just oriented us, giving us hope in the truth, which science has explored to give only more and more questions.
science is growing exponentially... from thousands of years, man evolved from wheel to car, and only decades from car into space. now, scientific progresses in weeks now.. are we not spinning out of control?
we now end up with a spiritual void in our heart, we are crying out for meaning with all this questions. we believe so much in technology that we now find it very hard to accept anything that is removed from technology.

science, need religion. because, religions are signpost of what technology gives us. technology is is thou powerful, but also cruel. technology offers power without moral judgement, like as if a father whom teaches his child to create fire, without telling his child what are the dangers and how it should be used properly. haven we burnt our fingers too many times already?

ppl say religion has been ignorant, but if u ask urself, who is the real ignorant one? the man whom cannot define lightening? or the man whom does not respect its awesome power?

LAST 2 PARAGRAPHS

what i am trying to say is,,
everytime, ppl look at science, they look at the microscope, they look thru the telescope, and they ask, where is God?
i say, isnt it obvious that God is right before your eyes?
they say universe or earth was created by the slight change in weight of an atom, so cant you see that it might actually had been God's planning? how can we be so lucky to chose the right card from a deck of billions?
we have become pathetically spiritual drained souls that many of us rather believe in mathematical impossibility than to entrust our hopes in a power greater than us.

last paragraph.

if we abandon our trust in a power greater than us, we as a species abandoned our sense of accountability. that accountability is faith. faith is something we cannot understand, yet something that we are accountable for. it is something that we are accountable for each other, ourselves, and to a higher truth.religion maybe be flawed, but i think thats because we as Man are flawed.


think about it. =)