Monday, October 27, 2008

i dun need past tenses that put me down all the time,
i only need reasons to make mi strong again.



Sunday, October 26, 2008

what's a housefly when its a baby?


do you know the answer?
apparently not everyone does.

it all started when i killed a GIGANTIC housefly and saw its guts splattered with two different colours. one was red, and the other was yellow. i took a closer look only to realise tt the yellow clutter was actually its babies.
one of the worst sight to have, really. i couldnt ate anything tt day and i almost puked on the spot.

i then started asking ppl what grows up to be a housefly and apparently, an astonishing number of ppl dont actually know the answer!
hahaha


just in case you're still figuring.
its maggots.
it should be eggs from the housefly, but i swear that i saw a clutter of maggots swirming around after its mum got crushed by my legendary fly terminator(in short, a ruler).



jokes aside, no offense to anyone. =)



now, i would like to do a bit of venting.



something happened today and i wasnt really pleased with it.
maybe i just dun quite understand the other gender. but they sure sting when their mood gauge goes for the low tune. i've been very patient, but it doesn't seem to help.
true it is tt goes the saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."



went out with tat siong and gang and boy it sure is good to see the faces again.
thou not everyone was there, but i really had a good time.
nice to catch up with everyone, nice to talk cork with everyone under no pressure, just so nice to have a proper gathering. =) some outings just goes the way that u stick to one clique instead of the whole gang. i didnt manage to really tok to all, but i had a good time talking and catching up with almost everyone =D would definitely hope for more to come. *beams*


anyway, this week was shit. so much happened. so damn busy till i didnt had the time to breathe. but like what qi said, its a good learning process, i've learnt to be more responsible and tolerant to stress le. even now, i can survive without much sleep le, which i thought i would never be able to do in the past.

and i got past a close swipe by my 2nd biggest boss, cause of some stuff that happened. i really dun wanna tok about it.

after undertaking this job, i've learnt more about the culture of management, and there is just some stuff that can be learnt only when u r down to the job to do it. thus i am just waiting for my upper study to go off before i can really tok control.
not to stereotype, but i think RI students are just... i dunno. our frequencies are like miles apart.
i dun like the way he does things, i think he doesnt like my way too. but i'm his understudy and thus a lot of stuff tt i do often leave me hanging coz his so called my supervisor and he still enjoys his power in the company. as long as his in the company, i always feel like i'm enclosed in a room with 4 CCTVs.

well. good thing is that i'm not going to go somewhere else for my birthday, but i also have no idea of what to do on my birthday. haha!
maybe everyone can call me out and give me a treat, i definitely wont mind =)


Deeparaya celebrations

anyway i had this happy hour this week in camp and there was free food for the taking. of course someone like me wouldnt just let this chance slip by like tt. so it was a good relaxing pt and everyone was kinda enjoying themselves. there were also some light performance. at first there was indian dance. then, there came this belly dancer that the organiser brought in and there were some females attending the counter, but they were those typical s**t and thus i was quite turned off by the whole event. i think when guys sign on and see too much males, they get kinda desperate. it was just a culture shock for mi to see this kinda thing happening, i just thought it was kinda disgusting. haha


ugh

pardon for the long entry. just got a lot to update =)



Saturday, October 18, 2008

its been like 1 year and 5 months plus. i've another 7 months to go.
whats going to happen next? what lies in the path that is laid ahead for me..?
but definitely not a single day further in army. hah. but i hope the future could somehow shed some light for me.

Spoiler:
as i've told many, "the day i sign on, is the day i go crazy."

thus, a regular life is definitely not for me.

so much has happened, and so much as changed over this 17 months.
this chapter had been a hard and fufilling one. but its not over yet. i wish it'd end sooner.
i used to be very busy staying out going out and spending quality time with my friends.
now, i hardly even hear from everybody except my few very treasured friends. i'm not trying to be greedy, i just miss that life. staying in tekong is really making me go crazy la.. =/

and i used to think to myself if i should actually sign on..now i think to myself how foolish and stupid i was at tt point of time. hah.

give me the life that i used to have can? please?

i don't wanna live an army life!

anyway, i've just watch some movies.
and for the genuine good-sake of everyone i care about.
please, do not watch the 20th century boys.

you can try painted skin, connected and stay tuned for coffin! hee..

today i speak of what will happen to one guy whom i've encountered across my life so far.


he did a very grave mistake, but he was no bad guy. just merely curious.
but seeing him broke down and went crazy today like tt just got me caught in a whirlpool.

i felt quite hopeless, yet it seem to be so ordinary to me already.

i'm not emo, just a little lost.


not to be explained in detail due to elements of confidentiality.


anyway...i got hit twice on the head by the ball in camp. but i ended loving the game more. i realised i am more confident of it now..maybe i'll love it more in time to come =)

it has been a long week.. and there will many more long weeks ahead.

but i'm biting on. so should you =)



Sunday, October 12, 2008

i'm not trying to be emo..

but i'm getting damn stressed at work..
really wished that this last 7 months can go pass faster..
damn it..


overworked, underpaid. tts what i am.
all the faces i have to put up with. i kinda understand how those ppl in movies that depicts themselves constantly cramped and bullied by their superiors feel.
but i am glad i'm back to church, at least i got myself closer back to God, and not so far away as i used to have. =)

anyway, connected is a nice movie.

p.s. : sorry but its kinda cut short. need to book in. till next time.



Sunday, October 05, 2008

i just went to NUH the day before to visit hannan, my bro in arms when i was going thru OCS with, and i saw him in quite a bad state with a tube inserted into his chest as there was signs of lung collaspe when he felt chest pain in camp.

and then i realised tt life could be just so fragile, and after tt thought finished its say, raymond came into picture along with the guy whom recently just past away after doing chin ups.
it quite disheartening but sometimes, fate just grasp u in the way u never u would be.

but i am cool, not getting emo over anything. just wanted to share.

i've to keep check of my emo status now or else subconciously i would fall again. hahaha

after doing some soul searching, i realise tt thou i lost a lot of social life outside, but i've gained much inside too. i received comments from my recruits and yes, i got a little bit light. but i wasn't flying yet. hahaha..
but its always satisfying to know at the end of the day, no matter what shit u have been put thru behind the scenes, just to make stuff happen, ppl still appreciates u in the end. sometimes, its just heart.
why i suddenly thought of this was because i met a guy whom called to me while i was leaving from BZ party. honestly, i didnt know who the hell tt guy was. but he started talking to me about where he got posted to and stuff and i knew he must be from my first batch. but he wasnt even from my platoon, maybe only because he knows me as the 2IC. so, its nice to know tt ppl still remembers u and is willing to acknowledge u outside. is this so called touching hearts and minds? i definitely hope so. =)


if u still were to give me a choice at the end of the day, i would still not want to be a 2IC. i would rather be a PC. God pull me thru this 7 months fast please











another point to ponder. ever wondered if u were in my shoes one day, a PR NSF, finding his motivation to protect the nation as a way of protecting his way of life, and one day u realized a war had to break out between the country which where u were born and s'pore. where would u stand if u had loved ones to protect on both side?

staying in NS has really taken a toll on me..
i used to be a very happy and carefree boy until i came to the army.
i'm losing all my social life, i'm having so little time to do the things i really wanna do.
even sleeping during the weekends are becoming a time waster to me.

i've learnt a lot..but it all came with a price..
and i'm still dragging myself along in army..
sigh...it can be such a pain at times..
i just wanna ORD.


i realised that my entries are always in general terms, so maybe i'll just start to diffuse some details.
i went for bao zhen birthday and it was a long time since the 4 of us met up.
it was the usual but i had a good time toking to wei you la..
bao zhen was running all over the place which occurred to me if i should do away with holding a party for my 21st.
it was quite a tiring day as i had no rest after i came back from camp and had to rush off to the place. and i was surprised tt ppl actually went quite early.. like wen ya whom already left the objective when i reached, and i tot i was still early. lol. and yes, i saw familiar faces and it was quite nice to see some ppl whom i'd rarely tok to my life, and also to ppl whom i always see but do not know.
yeap..for example, it was only until the party that i knew that li shan was a malaysian (ops!) haha..

some AAR.
i think that i wouldnt like the idea of having a chalet for my 21st. coz i see how tired BZ is when i met her while she was busy running all around to attend to her friends. aha.
i tried my share of holding a party for my birthday.it was fun! but maybe not again.

is there any other ideas than just a party to spend my 21st like tt? i wonder.
comments and ideas are opened up for sharing, thx u =)