Thursday, March 29, 2007

went out with the guys today to bugis, finally got the singlet we wanted, on the second try.
got a fbt singlet and a heineken singlet. hahaha! thou i'm not supporter of beer, but hack it la..it is a nice design.

was all laughter. yet until some point of time. i was caught up with my own emotions again. damn. hate to spend tt moments thinkin. but i did thought thru things today. slowly and slowly, i'm starting to recover le. pray for mi, wish mi luck.

but one thing tt really surprised mi, i saw my very established math teacher in secondary school, mdm intan! haha...she was one of the reasons why i managed to have better confidence in my maths. but she didnt recognised me and the rest alr...think she's now a SP lecturer...haha.. yeap. she's still very pretty! am proud to be one of her ex student. she was from WOODLANDS SECONDARY!!! ahhahaha...mark it in ur memory book man

anyway... still finding a job, pls let mi noe of any lobangs yea? thanks

Suddenly outta the blue, several emotions, thoughts, feelings, trapped expressions,
has led me to this place.

things happened, and i've learnt quite a lot. yet i drifted from some impt stronghold of my life too. i guess... sometimes, its okie to get lost, or take a very long detour and make a fool of yourself, coz maybe the most impt thing at the end of the day is tt u can reach your goal.
been feeling some terrible emotions, maybe guys only start to grasp hold of their emotions when they realise they r losing it. and so i learnt, that at the end of the day, even when things get falls like poo and get too hard to go over, life still moves on, somehow, we'll walk over that pile of poo. maybe its jus a matter of how u get over it. some escapes its smell, and stay there for a very long time, or even for the rest of their life. some goes over with the mindset of getting a bath after getting dirty over it.
i guess i was once stuck there for some time. i'm now working my way through it.
being in shit isnt exactly comfy, but life will get better. =)
Afterall, as someone quoted before, "the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, because you cant go on well in life until you let go of your past failure and heartaches."

how true, i'll believe in it.

anyway....been going to sch for soccer, camp stuff and lotsa thing. hmmm... as usual, sorry for sounding crude, but the politics, and rumours, back stabbing, never seem to cease. yet strangely i got accustomed to it. thou sometimes, i get outta control too. i shall control. amen.
yet.. there are so many cases of failure, sadness and stuff, because we r afterall, imperfect. so sometimes, i can only pray tt God will work things out with them. coz at least, i believe God is always there will everyone, always reaching a helping hand, waiting for the other line to pick up.
actually, even i face the same prob. when things sometimes land u up to the tip of a iceberg, where wadever lies below the water is jus false pretense. i've learnt to not develop feelings too deep for some people. yet, i'll still show them love, because, i still wish to see everyone up there one day. but i guess...its really hard for mi to love everyone equally, coz, afterall, i'm not god.
but sometimes, it inevitable tt we have to show love, even to the point of which when we have to expect none in return. guess tts one essence of my faith.

yeap, adventure quest is coming and i'm doing my best to make it happen nicely for the boys, at least on our company side. seems like lotsa fun, rappelling, cycling, kayaking and stuff. wow.
dear Father, pls see me thru!

and wads new is tt i'm kinda in love with maria sharapova. thou she is dating andy roddicks, but she is still hot to me. hahaha...where to find such a babe who aint jus looks?? somehow, sporty girls turn mi on. lolz... i mean, not physically la..jus think tt having a sporty gf in the future would be really nice. =) yeap...but sharapova, is jus someone whom i'd admire. coz admiring itself sometimes is a beauty too. and her pic is taking so long to load...gosh. hopes she wins this ongoing tennis cup! and i wanna learn to play tennis too! lolz

sorry guys, i noe this is the typical long post i normally do after an eon of stagnantity. but i noe u guys have been craving, dying, waiting, and loving this post. right right?? lol. dun say no hor.. this post here can earn money one okie..hee, excluding the last part la of coz..

and so u tot i end here? dream on.



been going downstairs to lay some shots. been sooo long since i touched basketball. yet, it still feels good. gonna keep it a habit. sports for life~


btw, i think i'm looking very uncle, as commented from some friendly people, so i guess, like my SUNSHINE BULK friend(wun tell u who), i'd try to take more care of myself too. no offence bro.
but to many whom feels the same as mi, i noe that there are jus tonnes of reasons and happenings in this world tt jus makes u inferior. i'll state one. i was inferior of my looks, complexion, my ability in sports and stuff, and the list will jus go on and on. but sometimes, life is jus about accepting. guess trying to change stuff tt i cant, will jus make mi stupid. so i hope God will grant mi the serenity to change wad i can, and accept what i cannot.

haven been going to church. got a little... stranded from Home, kinda lost in a way. yet i'll slowly try to find myself back. thou i wont noe when He will come back. yet..i'll do my best. i'm not ready yet.

but sincerely la..if i were to have a gf, i would hope to have a decent, not so good looking one. honest. either tt, or i fight my own emotions. i'll try to trust my girl. sorry if my topics are skipping here and there, but i'm jus blogging down random tots. guess i've to learn to overcome my deepest fears in life. God help me!

and speaking of which, kinda hard to believe i'm entering army soon. okie. i shall share bout whats my fears of NS. actually i have a little desire to try to work myself fit during this two years. but. i'm really afraid of the days when i go back from camp. i'm really afraid of changes. from outside NS. i see friends go, and i enter another phrase of life. bah..it sucks la..even upon jus mentioning. i'm afraid i wont be able to take things. but with reference to my second stanza, i'll be strong. Stoic

before i go, jus wanna reco some movies. 300 is nice, talks bout spartans as decendants from hercules, their abs, their roar of charisma, well... nice show to watch.
rocky balboa also, quite a nice inspiration show.

finally, a moment u've been dying for. the end of my entry. =D



Thursday, March 22, 2007

today...
i met up with shannon. watched a movie she won thru 933fm.
we thrashed things out nicely after the show, tears rolled and emotions went flying.
i guess...in the end, i was the immatured one. i used to think she was the one hurting mi, now i think i've been causing her lotsa pain. sigh.. i decided to let go of her because i dun wanna hurt her anymore. we'll be very good friends, jus very good friends, no more ai mei relationship le..
i guess wad i feel for her isnt love anymore. its unfair for her that i was having ai mei relationship with her. i was wrong. i guess for the last time, i hurt her le..
i'll face life properly from now on.we'll be the best of friends.

such an ending wasnt easy. but i guess we all have to grow out of it someday.
i'm glad i noe where i'm supposed to go now





in sch...kinda been outta myself for these days after i lost my wallet. treated alot of ppl with irresponsibility. i got the consequences, and i learnt my lesson. i'll learn to be more responsible for myself and others.

but, i got judged, because of my principles. which made mi suffocate. because i was taught to show love to everyone. yet i'll stand firm, coz its God's commandment.
i'll learn to noe how to make the right decision and choices from now on.



Sunday, March 18, 2007

sorry tt its been so long since i updated...

well..i wont update bout the normal stuff..

jus came online to mark this few days when i became despondent.
why? its because i lost a wallet. not any ordinary wallet, its a wallet of well wishes. my fiance bought it for mi when she was in hong kong and i lost it.
was really sad for these few days, my ic and stuff were all gone with it. i jus wish tt some kind soul would return mi the wallet and IC, jus this two is enough....pls?

anyway...i did tot alot bout the wallet when i was returning home while walking. i felt how i felt if tt person whom picked up my wallet didnt returned it to mi. and so i learnt bout how my loved ones would feel when i had my irresponsible moments. this lesson came at a costly price..

btw, i'm really sorry fiance! i'm really really sorry bout it. =(

been trying hard to find a job, yet to no avail. learnt bout some shockin news lately, yet..i'm sorry theres nothing i can do for u. i'm really sorry