Sunday, November 16, 2008

ever since i took up the 2IC role,
i've been so alone in all that i do. everything and everyone is my responsibility.
life sucks, and i wish i can ORD soon.
even weekends arent something tt i really look forward to.
coz there's nothing for me to look forward to these days..

everyone is busy, even my closest emotional support, doesnt seem to be there when i'm in need.
i had to resort to weeping alone in the bus trip, i had to learn to take it all to myself.
i've learn to build a protection wall for myself too alr i guess.
at least, after the tears shed, i felt much better to face the music again.
i'm really feeling the toll of being alone in this walk. hardly anyone understands, i dun think its nice tofor them to know too much too. but i really had no choice, i dun wanna put everything inside me, so at least let me blog..
she is so busy, either she is busy, i cant take too much of her attention, or she would be having fun with her friends, i cant take too much from her if she wants to enjoy.
despite all this, i still have to take in everything alone and smile it out, being there for her, when no one is there for me. i dun wanna be greedy.
i guess this is love ba. it hurts so much, but u still wanna make sure she is alright..even if the whole world is falling apart, even if it means that you have to be the one to shield everything from her. i finally understand how love works le..

its really painful,
but i'll show you how strong my heart can be. =)

i'll be strong to face it alone.