Wednesday, December 19, 2007

it wasnt meant to be..


my section mate, my OCS buddy..
we had common dreams..
we were inspired for great things..
at least, he had a great future ahead of him..
we shared our problems, thru BMT and CLM we really became great buddies..

before he left for mids wing, he wrote there in my journal,


"All e best, see you at the comms parade! RAY :) 81007"

am i really tt cursed not to be at my loved ones with them at their last moments?
my grandma, then my grandpa, then now my buddy?!
i was totally devastated.. didnt even had the mood for anything..
i am still in camp but i dunno where to vent..
i dun wanna break down here..nor i wish to break down at the funeral later..
pardon me, but FUCK..
i still cant swallow any of this in..

i wonder how i can help his family..
i wonder how am i gonna face ray later..
i wonder how am i gonna face myself for not being to be with him on his last days..
why is all of this happening in such a wrong wrong time??

i need to break down..
and i almost did when i looked at his bulletin posted by his sister to ask all of Ray's friend to pay him one last visit..

Add: Ubin rd 4, hall 3..

P.S.: pay more care to the family alright? i think they need a lot more attention than anyone else right now..