Friday, June 22, 2007

genting was fun.
went for all the thrill rides, except for those "childish" ones. haha!
played pool bowling and some other stuff..was fully utilizing time there.
i proudly declared that i conquered the rides there. so i will officially declare tt i'm height phobia no more. wahahaha *prouded*
all in all, a great trip. but the next time i go there, i wont wanna stay at first world hotel anymore. the toilet is like a camp toilet. i'm actually only allowed a space enough for me to stand. hahaha. but better than nothing la. oh yea, maybe u guys already know this, but i need to re-emphasize that the weather there ROCKS man.
its was really free and easy there. and because there wasnt any cute girls to see there, i didnt even bothered to dress up before heading down from the hotel room. hahah!


so we were on our way back and we dropped on happy home, where we visited grandpa.
surprisingly, looking at grandpa ache my heart more this time. he looked so skinny, his pupils were dilated and he was just looking v despondent.
he kept telling us he just wanted to die and wanted to go home. and he has trouble recognizing some of us already. halfway thru the stay there i was trying hard to fight back my tears. i was brought to the scenes of the TV shows where we return as those grown ups to check up on our aging parents. i felt guilty. yet i felt so hopelessly sad as i watch my grandpa on his side.
the stay wasnt long and my dad initiated to leave. this was the part where i totally broke down.
he told grandpa that we had to leave. grandpa nodded with a sad gesture. i weeped. tried my best to not make a scene, but my tears wouldnt listen to me. i helplessly weep my way out.
close my car door and continue to weep as i look out of the window. thoughts of my granddad shot up even thou we jus left. thoughts like, how would he be doing there? would he be better at home? i could felt his loneliness, his helplessness. my heart ache for this poor old man. i hate to think that he was just waiting for death. yet i feel damn useless not be able to do anything for him.
i felt worse for grandpa than grandma, maybe because grandpa wasnt as well liked as grandma since way before i was born. sigh. i'm sorry to feel emo...

but i cant help but cry.